the story.

first of all, i can't believe that anyone saw the last post. i really figured at this point i would be writing for myself and myself alone. you ladies are great! thank you.

so, i'm going to warn you that this might be the kind of story that makes if-ers shudder. a month ago, it would have pissed me off, too, but seeing as how i'd given up blogging and reading blogs then, i wouldn't have come across it. anyway, shortly after i gave up blogging, i gave up "trying." (i know! how annoying!) "why?" you ask.

in early june, we discovered that mil was going to have repeat his first year of med school because he failed too many blocks last year. this was heart-breaking for both of us. unfortunately, it took my therapist to throw out the crazy idea that maybe... just maybe... having a baby and going through all sorts of machinations to get there were not such a good idea right now. it took me about a day to warm up to the idea, but i realized that ultimately, mil needs this time to focus on himself and his studies this year, and having a baby is just about the most life-altering, stressful thing you can experience. how the heck is he going to perform well when there's a little person screaming all night long (i guess we'll have to figure that out).

so we called the clinic, told them to put our cycle on hold. we discussed whether we should use birth control "just in case," but neither of us were willing to go that far after all we'd been through. i exhaled... settled into life with my hubby... going to great adventure for my birthday, drinking martinis to my heart's content (which is 2 by the way). i was beginning to actually enjoy this brief reprieve from having to worry about when to have snu-snu and holding my legs up interminably after, not to mention doctor's appointments in the early a.m. so they can shove catheters up my hoo-ha.

and, true to the word of all those *sshats out there who say "just relax" and "it'll happen," it happened. a year and a half later... but it happened. i was not expecting it at all. we were on vacation when i hit the one week late mark (a mark i'd never hit before), and i just couldn't wait anymore... especially since our hosts had martinis and wine flowing all night every night. i actually just figured i should test, so i know that i can partake with abandon. turns out i couldn't. we actually had to bike to a nearby town in order to get the test when our hosts weren't around...

this was all of a week and a half ago, so i'm not too far into this (6.5 weeks to be exact). i'm still disbelieving. and seeing as how this happened without a doctor, i don't get to see the little critter (or even visit the doctor) until after 8 weeks. it seems like cruel and unusual punishment after waiting over a year and a half, but i'm happy and trying to enjoy the fact that i saw "pregnant" for once in my freakin' life. as my brother said, regardless of what happens next (which will hopefully be nothing but good), we at least know that i can turn a pee-stick blue.

anyway, that's my little story. i hope i didn't annoy anyone too much. i know that it's hard to read the blog of someone who's gotten lucky, but if you can, stick by me at least until sept 4th when i go to visit my ob-gyn.