lucky

lately, i've been feeling a little sorry for myself... sorry that i don't have the perfect job... sorry that i have to work so hard just to get pregnant (and i know i haven't seen the half of it!)... sorry that my husband studies so much... and most sorry that my mom has cancer.

then sometimes, i read a blog or two or talk to a friend who recently lost her mother, and i realize how lucky i am. no matter what happens next week, next month, or several years from now, right now i have my mom. i can call her when i feel like it. i can spend the day reading a book with her while she naps on the couch. i can convince her to go out for an afternoon walk with me when she'd rather keep napping. i can tell her about my friends who are engaged to losers or talk to her about what a pain it is not to be able to get pregnant when i want to... i can give her a hug and get one in return. how can i not be happy? how can i let myself get down about a future that may or may not be?