one month and counting...

i can't get pregnancy off of my mind... every woman i see with a slightly protruding belly is pregnant in my mind. i wonder what they are thinking, what they're feeling, how far along they might be. are they older than me? younger? did they get pregnant after years of trying or accidentally?

waiting sucks. in approximately one month mil and i will get down to business. who knows what will happen, but we're trying to make sure we're well prepared. i've already started to decrease my caffiene intake (which also sucks) and made an appointment with the dentist. mil is getting used to the idea that he's gonna have to limit his alcohol intake for a few weeks, and i'm loading up on my folic acid. in the meantime, all i have is babycenter.com and my many parent blogs to keep me company. i'm noticing signs that mil is starting to get excited, too, but he keeps it pretty well hidden. i'm trying to figure out how this potential pregnancy will figure into my next job, but i also don't want to get ahead of myself. just because we have plans to try doesn't mean that we will succeed, and even if we do, there's no telling when.

i'm also not sure whether we should tell my folks before we start trying. mil is afraid that they'll try to talk us out of it since we're not exactly where we'd like to be financially, what with mil going to med school and all. on the other hand, we do spend a lot of time with them, and they are likely to notice if i no longer partake in wine with dinner. i feel like i am too old to be sneaking around on my parents like that... as an adult, i feel like i should be able to tell them about our plans without feeling like we have to defend our decision... anyway, we'll see if a good opportunity comes up.